


The Physics of a Crush

by moshigami



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-08-18 08:22:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8155534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moshigami/pseuds/moshigami
Summary: You're on a school trip to an amusement park, and it just so happens you're working with Carrot-Top and Not-Hawkeye in the flesh! It obviously starts with awkwardness and ends in romance, but what happens in the middle?





	1. Chips

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was a request from writing-knb on Tumblr. I hope you enjoy what I've written so far, and I swear to some higher power that I'll finish this one day.  
> Imayoshi will probably appear everywhere. We all like a good dose of Imayoshi. He has no involvement with the main story, though.  
> If you're new to this kind of thing, note:  
> [f/n] - First name  
> [l/n] - Last name  
> Have fun ^_^

"That bus ride was the absolute worst," you said, turning to your best friend, Fujioka Meiko, who only yawned in reply.

"What teacher lets a student play songs about vaping on the loudspeaker anyway?" she replied, leering at Kaji Hiro, who was the culprit of the entire thing. "Tanaka-sensei, that's who. He's so blind and stupid a sack of hammers is smarter than him."

"Now now, Mei-chan, he's marking us on this assignment, so you shouldn't insult him," you looked around, relieved that your group was still waiting for other buses to come. "It could come back and bite you in the butt later," you whispered hurriedly.

"Geez, [f/n]-chan, this is why you're the model student and not me."

All of Shuutoku High's first years were at Dreamland, a popular theme park that had only opened in the last couple of years. Personally, you had never been there yourself, since you had aversions to anything that involved you going outside for no particular benefit.

You had been split into groups to conduct physics experiments on some rides, but you hadn't been given any time to meet up with your group. Thankfully, there were choices given based on how good the data was from each ride.

Hearing a whistle, you and Meiko turned around to find Tanaka-sensei next to the amusement park entrance, one foot in a bed of freesias.

You sighed. Meiko may have been harsh about it, but Tanaka-sensei had worse eyesight than a bat in daylight.

"Bus B! The other buses should be here soon, but to make things easier for us now, please split up into your research groups. You might not have everyone in your group right now, but it'll make it easier to sort you all out later." Tanaka-sensei proceeded to walk towards the students, miraculously not falling down the steps.

"Agh, dang. I gotta go join my group." Meiko gave you a hug before she left. "Good luck, [f/n]. You'll need it."

You only sighed in response, and waved to her receding back.

Bus C (as it stated on the windscreen) had arrived and parked behind your bus. As you watched the kids stream out of the door, you couldn't help but wonder what your group members would be like.

"Oi. You're [l/n] [f/n], right?"

You snapped out of your thoughts, finding yourself facing a strangely handsome green-haired boy. So this was the infamous Midorima Shintarou. One down, one to go.

"Ah, Midorima Shintarou-kun… right?" You murmur quietly, making sure he heard you nevertheless. He was just as attractive as the rumours said he was, but his personality was a lot colder than you had imagined (for a guy so popular). He was holding a golden pocket watch in his bandaged left hand (even though he could have just put it in his pocket… since it was a pocket watch).

You'd only met him three seconds ago, though. Now wasn't the time to judge.

He nodded, looking around for the last member of your group.

"Takao wasn't on your bus, was he, nodayo?" He asked, pushing up his glasses.

"Nah, he would've been here with me if he was. I was more occupied with getting some sleep on the bus, anyway." You chuckle sheepishly, and you swear his lips had quirked up for a millisecond.

You didn't notice Meiko spotting you and snickering.

Bus A parked behind Bus C, and you didn't need to crane over the other students to locate Takao Kazunari.

"Shin-chaaaaaaaaan!"

Midorima stepped back as Takao emerged from the sea of students, colliding into him with enough force to knock him into the elevated garden beds. Luckily for him, the soil was dry and he was wearing his tracksuit. Takao got off and grinned obnoxiously.

"Didn't your bus leave first, Takao?" Midorima questioned, brushing himself off.

"We had a flat tyre," Takao replied simply. It was at this moment he noticed you standing aside awkwardly, and his smile lit brighter on his face. "You're [l/n] [f/n]-chan, huh? I've heard a lot about you from Fuji-chan."

Your eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You know Mei-chan?"

His smile faltered for a second. "Yeah, we…"

"You keep your conniving hands off her, you little weasel." Meiko had spontaneously appeared behind him and pulled sharply on his ear. Before Takao could retaliate, she had disappeared again.

Midorima stared blankly in his friend's direction, but it was glaringly obvious he found this situation completely and utterly hilarious.

Before Takao could voice his devastation at his friend being an asshole, Watanabe-sensei (the other, more competent teacher accompanying you) got everyone's attention with a megaphone.

"Students! Is there anyone who can't find their group?"

Nobody responded, and Takao resumed gazing appealingly in Midorima's direction. Midorima wasn't looking at him.

"Great! I've got tickets here, so come up with your group and go inside. Wait for us by the fountain!"

* * *

 

"Well, that's it for briefing. Look at the workbook, find a ride, and come back for roll-marking at 1. You have until 4pm here, so you might as well get all the work done now." Watanabe-sensei clapped her hands once, eyeing Tanaka-sensei to make sure he wouldn't fall into the fountain.

Most groups had already decided which rides they wanted to do, but a few groups, like yours, had only met each other this morning.

Your group stayed behind to work out a game plan.

"Everyone's doing the Motor-coaster, and the Terrifying Tower is too simple," you started simply. This assignment was extremely important, and you were desperate to get into a good university. A good few minutes analysing the assessment criteria quickly eliminated the Terrifying Tower from your list of possible rides.

"How about we do the Chainsaw?" Takao suggested, "I've always wanted to ride on it, and there aren't very many people around at this time of day."

"Do what you want, nodayo," Midorima sighed, gaze shifting sideways. "I'm not much for rides, anyway."

Takao chuckled, a glint passing over his sharp eyes.

"We all have to ride on it at least once, you know, Midorima-kun." You flip over to the clause in the workbook stating exactly that.

"Dang," you heard him whisper under his breath. Here he was getting bad luck, even with his lucky item.

"Come on, Shin-chan! The quicker we get this done, the quicker we can explore and have some actual fun!" Takao chirped, dragging his friend in the direction of the Chainsaw.

You jogged to catch up with them. It took you a lot of effort, but you fell in step with Takao.

"Hey, [l/n]-chan, you know the last time Shin-chan came with me to a theme park, he pi - "

"We don't mention that, Takao," Midorima grumbled. Unfortunately for him, you already knew what Takao was going to say. You chuckled, earning a glare from Midorima.

"Oh, come on, Midorima-kun. It's only one ride; how bad can it get?" You chuckled at the dusting of pink on the basketball player's cheeks.

* * *

 

You struggled to swallow down your words (or anything at all, for that matter) as you and Midorima screamed your lungs out on the ride.

So much for asking how bad it could get; you should have asked how much worse it could get. As you saw the loop-de-loop approaching, you thought to yourself, "A LOT worse."

In the adrenaline of the moment, you grabbed on to the nearest thing you could hold.

Takao was sitting behind you, and was laughing loudly, enjoying every second. That was probably the reason you chose him to hold all the measuring equipment; he was the only person who'd be willing to ride this thing three times.

You were glad that your hair was tied; your ponytail swung wildly in the wind and you were too scared to let go of whatever you were holding. If your hair was out; you'd have to adjust it before you ended up looking like Samara from the Ring. (Meiko always teased you whenever that was the case.) That would have involved letting go.

Fifteen menacing and impossibly long seconds later, you felt the car slowing down and the harnesses releasing themselves. You were about to get up when you realised you were still holding on to something. Looking down, you saw your hand entwined tightly in Midorima's.

You went to let go, but not before meeting those clear, emerald eyes. Eyes were the windows to the soul, and his soul said…

"Can you please let go, nanodayo?"

You snapped back to reality, slipping your hand out of his. There was a foreign feeling of loss because you didn't feel his warmth, but your dignity was at stake here. Worrying about that could come later.

"Er… sorry," you stuttered as you scuttled out of the rollercoaster car. Hopefully, awkward moments like this would be a one-off thing today. You were just getting to like Midorima. He shuffled after you, and Takao passed him his glasses and his lucky item (which you honestly thought would be better off in his pocket).

"So what took you guys so long? And what did you do that made your faces all red?" Takao asked naively, "Oh, wait! You guys were screaming your head off that entire ride! I'm surprised Shin-chan didn't - "

"Takao," Midorima warned.

"Er… I'll just go on the ride again," Takao decided sheepishly, jogging to the back of the line for the ride.

You and Midorima stood by the exit, filling out what you could of the workbook. (Seriously, you were first years in high school; what made them think this was necessary?)

"A lot of this we can't do without Takao-kun's data, so this is all we can do for now." You put the workbook back into your backpack. You looked up, but Midorima averted his gaze. His face reddened, but you decided to ignore it. With a guy like Takao around him all the time, he was probably embarrassed enough already. Heck, you were starting to see similarities between the relationships between you and Meiko and Midorima and Takao. "Do you want me to send you the workbook stuff later, or would you rather take a photo of it now?"

"Err…" Midorima stalled, "I'm trusting you to send it to me later, if that's alright with you nodayo. I'll make sure Takao gets that data to you and me."

"Sure, I can work with that," you reply, but it falls flat.

There's an awkward silence between you as rowdy elementary school kids pass you by, shouting about some pointless competition or the latest and greatest things. For some reason, his eyes would flick to you, but as you met his eyes, they would jump away again, focusing on the rollercoaster or some interesting spot on the ground.

You'd think you were in a romance story if not for the fact you'd only known him for half an hour.

The silence continued, your eyes dancing between each other or the multitude of interesting things that Dreamland decided to shove into your faces.

That was until your stomach decided to make a motivational speech imploring you to eat.

Midorima flinched, asking, "Did you not have breakfast?"

You sighed, hoping that he would have possibly been less direct about that. "I live pretty far away from school, so I only managed to have an apple three hours ago."

He reached into his backpack and passed you a Smickers candy bar.

"Take this, nodayo."

You take the Smickers, eyeing him as you take a bite out of it. "Thanks. I didn't peg you for the sweet-tooth type."

"I'm not; my little sister stuck that in my bag yesterday because she thinks I need to "live" and "I'm not myself if I'm hungry", whatever that means."

"I should have realised," you laughed, "My brother would be the sort to do the same thing. Although, he's more of a "stick frogs down shirts" kind of guy, if you know what I'm saying."

"I understand what you're saying, nanodayo." Midorima replied stiffly, eyeing your face with narrowed eyes.

"What?"

"You have some chocolate on your cheek, nanodayo."

You rubbed your cheek with the back of your hand. "Is it gone?"

"No."

"Here?" You tried again, on a different spot.

"Not even close. Go to the left a bit, nodayo."

“Your left or my left?” you asked quizzically.

Midorima sighed, rubbing a spot on the other side of your face. “There. It’s gone.”

You stared at him awkwardly, gaze shifting from his similarly confused and flustered face to the brown smudge on his thumb.

A low whistle broke the moment.

You both whipped your heads in the direction of the sound. You slapped yourself mentally for even wondering who it was.

Of course, it was Takao, wearing the same infuriating grin as always.

“Did I catch you guys at a bad moment?” he snickered.

“Er… no…?” you reply, eyes shifting rapidly between Midorima to his really, really annoying friend.

“Wow, Shin-chan, I wonder what your horoscope was today,” Takao said, slapping his friend on the shoulder.

“It was really bad, nanodayo,” Midorima muttered, face still beet red.

“Oh come on, your luck couldn’t be _that_ bad today, could it?” you laughed nervously.

“I’d bet you a few yen that you’re wrong, but I’m dead broke,” Takao pouted.

“It’s not good to get into the habit of gambling early, Takao, [l/n].” Midorima chastised, turning and leaving.

“Wah, Midorima, don’t ditch us so easily!” you wailed, running after him with Takao.

* * *

Midorima had walked to one of the various cafés in Dreamland and was now ordering some chips.

“Can I have some?” you asked, your stomach growling for emphasis. The Smickers bar didn’t do you much good.

“Only if you pay half, nanodayo.”

You shelled out the necessary amount, and put it on the counter. He copied you, and the shopkeeper gave him an admittedly tasty looking bucket of chips.

Takao whined, “Shin-chan, don’t be so mean! I want food too!”

“No,” was the final answer from the green-haired, green-eyed monster (in Takao’s eyes, not the narrator’s).

You all went into the air-conditioned garage nearby (they had a random car collection in Dreamland which was probably donated to them by someone like Tanaka-sensei), spotting a few tables and chairs where other Shuutoku students were scoffing down their lunches (brunches? It was only around 11 in the morning, after all).

Midorima sat down at a small table at a window. You and Takao sat on either side of him.

The chips sat on the table, yet nobody went to take them.

A drop of sweat ran down Takao’s face.

Your gaze was shifting from the chips, to Takao, to Midorima stuffing his face, to…

Wait a second.

“You killed the tension, Midorima-kun!” you exclaimed, grabbing some of the chips and eating them.

“Well, nobody said you couldn’t have them, nanodayo,” Midorima replied, casually grabbing another chip.

“I thought it’d be impolite to start eating, considering it was your idea to get them.”

“You paid half for it, though. It makes it as much yours as mine, nodayo.”

Takao took the opportunity to grab some chips while both of you were engrossed in your mini-argument. It was him with the Hawk Eye, after all, and his eyes told him neither of the two idiots in front of him would notice him grabbing their hard-earned chips.

The Hawk Eye made it easy for him to do pretty much anything under the sun.

“Takao, you didn’t pay for them. You might have the Hawk Eye, but you’re acting like a seagull, nodayo.” Midorima made no move to stop his friend grabbing chips, but he was annoyed that Takao would immediately resort to his basketball skills for cheap fulfilment.

“Seems like your Hawk Eye doesn’t work outside of a basketball game, huh, Takao-kun?” you snickered.

“Well, at least I get to eat, [l/n]-chan,” Takao snapped, red as a tomato.

“You’re not doing it properly.” You grabbed a few chips and made fangs out of them. “Chips are made to be played with.”

“I thought chips were made to be eaten, but I’ll take your word for it,” he smiled, sticking five chips out of his mouth to become a bad rip-off of Cthulhu.

“Hey, Midorima-kun, who did it better?” you asked the obviously annoyed nerd that had to put up with the two of you.

“Me, of course, nodayo.”

“Oi oi, Shin-chan, whaddya mean?” Takao frowned, adjusting the chips so they wouldn’t fall out.

“While you were playing with your food, I ate a good half of the chips.” Midorima ate a chip for good measure.

“You’re kidding,” you fake-sniff as you ate the chips in your mouth.

“Shin-chan, being mean to me is fine, but at this rate, you’ll never get a girlfriend.” Takao chastised, chewing thoughtfully. “You know what they say: “You might be a great kisser but you can still make nobody want to kiss you.”.”

Midorima did the best spit-take he could without involving any spitting.

“They say that?!”

“Yeah, of course, Shin-chan!” Takao laughed.

“Mei-chan’s said that to me once or twice,” you agreed.

Midorima huffed. “Oha-Asa doesn’t say that, so I should be okay, nanodayo.”

“You’re also usually more than willing to tell me what your horoscope was, so it’s gotta be a lot less okay than usual.” Takao smirked as Midorima reddened immensely in response.

“W-w-w-w-what do you mean, na-na-nanodayo?!”

“Tell me, Shin-chan!”

“Yeah, tell us, Midorima-kun!” you joined in, giggling.

“Will you leave this alone if I buy all your food?” Midorima asked, a bit of pink left on his cheeks.

“Maybe we should, Takao-kun,” you leaned back in your chair.

Takao frowned in thought. “Hmm… how about you don’t complain for the rest of today about anything we might do to you? Though of course, we’re not gonna make you go on rides, especially because –”

“Takao.” Midorima warned.

“Ok, ok, we don’t mention that. I getcha.” Takao raised his hands in defeat, leaning back into his chair also.

“Oh yeah, before I forget, you gotta send us your data for the ride, Takao-kun.” You interjected, hoping that there’d be no more pervasive silence.

“Huh, I’ll get that to you, don’t worry.” Takao got up and went in the direction of the bathroom. “I’ll be right back.”

Midorima sat tensely, still embarrassed.

“Unless your horoscope said something about getting a girlfriend, you should be fine, Midorima-kun,” you said reassuringly. “Anyway, we should ditch Takao while he’s gone. What do you say?”

You got no response.

“Midorima-kun?” You try to lean back into your chair, but he grabbed your arm, immobilising you.

“What’s your star sign?”

“Er… [sign]…” you reply uncertainly.

He let go of you, and just in time as well, as Takao emerged from the bathroom as you resumed your seat.

“Did I miss something again? I swear it’s the second time this has happened today. What time is it again? 11:30am? I’m a pretty easy-going guy, but take your romantic antics somewhere else, please. I gotta be around you lovebirds until 4, ya know. Can’t I catch a break?” Takao’s grin grew wider and wider as you and Midorima both went redder and redder.

“If I find out your horoscope had something to do with romance, I’m gonna start watching Oha-Asa as well,” you whispered hurriedly to Midorima.

“I can’t tell whether the horoscope was kidding or not until the end of today, nanodayo,” was the hurried reply.

“Aren’t horoscopes meant to be absolute?”

“Sometimes you just aren’t lucky enough.”

“Guys, I’m standing right here, you know.” Takao pouted, “It’s kinda rude to whisper.”

“Did you just call my darling [f/n]-chan rude?!” Meiko appeared suddenly behind you, resting her arms on you possessively.

Takao pursed his lips. “Er… no.”

“Seriously, Bakao, stay away from [f/n]-chan. She’s mine.” Meiko turned to a confused Midorima. “Though, if you want her as a girlfriend or even a wife, Midorima-kun, I wouldn’t be opposed to that. ”

“I’m not property, Mei-chan!” you protested.

Midorima’s face exploded in a display of red, red and more red. If this was a fireworks display, you would have packed up and gone home already.

“I was kidding, Midorima-kun. You gotta prove yourself worthy, first.” Meiko chuckled, ruffling your hair.

“You should’ve said that earlier, nanodayo.” Midorima tried to regain his composure, but his heated cheeks made it obvious that wouldn’t be the case for a long while.

Takao, despite his position, howled obnoxiously at his friend’s state.

It was payback for earlier.

“Shut it, Bakao.” Meiko huffed.

“Shut it, Takao.” Midorima concurred.

“Please be quiet, Takao-kun.” You agreed after a pause.

“What?! Even you, [l/n]-chaaaan?” Takao bawled comedically (it worked somehow, but you resisted the urge to laugh).

“[f/n]-chan, you broke the pattern!” Meiko whined.

“I’m not rude like you are,” you replied simply, sticking out your tongue when she pouted. “Speaking of your chronic rudeness, why are you always so rude to Takao-kun, anyway?”

“He’s a dingus I’ve known for a very long time,” was her final answer as she disappeared into thin air.

You look around, seeing no sign of her. “Do you ever get the feeling Mei-chan might be descended from a long line of ninjas?” you ponder quizzically, looking back at the space your best friend was occupying before.

“No, that couldn’t be it, nanodayo. I must admit she’s very good at annoying people, however.” Midorima adjusted his black-rimmed glasses.

“Annoying people? That reminds me of somebody…” Takao looked around. “Who am I kidding? That person couldn’t be around today.”

* * *

 “How did they know? I thought I kept that secret really well!” Meiko shook her head, playing with some of the display toy cars in the gift shop. “I don’t think they could actually prove it though. Nyooooooom.”

* * *

“Hmm? What’s this?” Imayoshi picked up a black _tenugui_ laying sadly on the floor near the Chainsaw. He was here at Dreamland because he was a third-year and could do whatever the hell he wanted (or so he liked to believe, since he was actually on a school trip as well). “There’s some embroidery here: _“Fujioka Meiko, Shinobi. Call XXX-XXXX-XXXX if found.”_ Welp, here’s who _not_ to return this to. I’ve been looking for one of these. They’re gosh darn useful.”

Imayoshi lifted the towel up, inspecting it. “It could use a good wash. Just what was this gal using this thing for?”


	2. Glittery Bikinis and Merry-go-rounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have my IOC in two days. This is my method of procrastination, haha.  
> Anyway, it took me a while. High school is super hard. The IB is super hard. I hope this suffering will be worth it.
> 
> Enjoy what I've done.

“What are you doing, nanodayo?”

“Exactly what you think, Shin-chan.”

“That depends on what you’re thinking, Midorima-kun!”

Midorima sighed. These idiots had blindfolded him and had probably taken him across the entirety of the park in trying to confuse him.

“We’ll take the blindfold off now,” he heard your voice say.

“Don’t get too excited,” Takao teased, pulling the blindfold off his eyes.

“Did you just drag me around Dreamland just so you could put my head in this wanted poster?” Midorima attempted to crane his head around to get a look at the thing he was sticking his head out of. He didn’t have much luck, but he saw a bounty of 100 000 yen.

“I’m not that cheap, am I, nanodayo?”

“I’d only expect 50 yen for you, to be honest, Shin-chan.” Takao snickered, snapping a photo before Midorima could protest.

“If you don’t like being cheapened, you could stick your head out of those iron bars there,” you suggested, pointing to a model jail.

“Why would you think I’d get myself into jail in the first place?” Midorima grumbled, complying.

You snickered. “I dunno, shooting someone?”

You didn’t expect Takao to groan. Somewhere in the universe, Izuki Shun sneezed.

You took a photo of Midorima for the sake of it because his grumpy face suited the backdrop.

“Why don’t you join me in this hellhole, Takao, [l/n]?” Midorima dragged the two of you into the model jail. It was spacious enough for the three of you to fit comfortably. Now if you could just take a selfie…

You turned to the black-haired point guard. “Hey, Takao-kun, if I commit a murder, would you bail me out?”

“Nah.”

“What, why?!”

“I’d be in jail with you!” Takao grinned, earning a roll of the eyes from Midorima.

“So who’s gonna break us out?”

“Shin-chan?”

You both stared intensely at the shooting guard.

“No.” He adjusted his glasses, a slight smirk on his face.

You and Takao both reacted in mock surprise. “What?!”

“You can rot in jail. And didn’t I shoot someone, nodayo?”

You waved a hand. “No, you’re a free man. What about me?”

Midorima poked you in the forehead. “Both of you.”

You pouted. “Midorimaaaaaa!”

* * *

You glanced at the shaking green-haired boy beside you. “Hey, is this a good idea?”

“What’s bad about haunted houses?” asked Takao.

You were all currently standing in front of the scariest haunted house in the park.

Well, it was also the only one, but still…

Your voice shook. “Well, um…”

Takao leered, making you back away slightly. “What, you’re scared?”

“No way! I’m worried for Midorima-kun!” you said, pouting.

Midorima grunted. “Liar.”

He was still shaking.

“Midorima-kun!”

Takao chuckled, earning a warning glare from Midorima. “I hope you brought a spare pair of pants.”

“I could say that to you,” you retorted, sticking out your tongue.

Midorima sighed, adjusting his glasses. “We don’t mention that, [l/n].”

You glanced at Takao, exasperated. “Takao-kun, we should teach him not to preen his ego so much.”

Takao only shrugged. “Yeah, he’s a little hard to tame.”

Midorima was taken aback. “What am I to you, nanodayo?”

Takao looked up thoughtfully, a grin blooming on his face. “Midorima Shintarou, homo sapiens midorimus shooting-guardius. I would call you a fine specimen but then again I don’t have anyone to compare you to.”

You caught on. “Right now, the creature is out of his natural habitat, and so far has reacted aggressively to all stimuli.”

Midorima sighed. There were only a few people in front of you in the line now.

Takao stroked his imaginary beard. “But how will our homo sapiens midorimus shooting-guardius react to the ultimate stimulus?”

You both leaned towards Midorima. The shooting guard’s face fell further.

You and Takao chuckled at his expression. “Fear!”

You had reached the front of the line.

The employee sighed tiredly. “May I help you?”

You turn to her, perking up instantly. “Three tickets, please.”

* * *

Takao sighed. Both Midorima and [y/n] were holding onto him very, very tightly. Not scared, his ass. “Hey, look up.”

The other two looked up. There was what looked like the mutilated, festering corpse of some idiot who had entered this house before them. “Gross, nodayo.”

You sniffed the air. “It’s literally a plastic guy that looks kind of gross. This place has standards, right?”

Takao dragged his friends farther, but something caught his eye.

“Shin-chan, look out!”

“What – AAAAAAAARGH!”

The plastic corpse had fallen down from the ceiling and hit Midorima in the face. The shooting guard lay sprawled on the floor, the corpse lying beside him in a position even a yoga master would struggle to imitate.

You helped him up. “Let’s go before you wet your pants, Midorima-kun.”

He took your hand reluctantly, brushing himself off. “That was embarrassing, nanodayo.”

Takao snickered deridingly. “Not as embarrassing as – oh, look, a coffin.”

True to his word, there was a coffin in the middle of the room you had just entered.

Against his better judgement, Midorima inspected the prop from every angle. He sighed, almost disappointed. “It’s empty.”

You walked up to the prop and looked down. “There’s nail marks in the lid.”

The soft tune of some lullaby drifted through the wooden door behind you.

Takao dragged both of you quickly out of the room. A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. “I know that door’s nailed shut but I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Even the Hawk Eye didn’t work with places like these. Takao found out the hard way: endless experimentation.

Midorima adjusted his glasses, calm and composed like he didn’t almost wet himself just before. “Let’s go, nanodayo. Oh, another nailed door?”

There was an insistent knocking on the door.

You quickly pushed the boys away. This door was NOT nailed shut. “We don’t take unsolicited salespeople in this household.”

Small muffled bangs caught Takao’s attention.

He squinted his eyes at the darkness ahead of all of you. “That door’s rattling!”

You rushed up to it like there wasn’t going to be some actor hired to scare you, and you stopped.

It stopped.

You blinked twice. How anticlimactic.

Midorima’s head whipped back behind the group as loud creaking came from the entrance to the corridor.

“What’s that sound behind us?” You swore you heard his voice shaking.

Takao took the liberty of dragging his friend away by the sleeve. “Um, let’s not find out.”

The three of you continued walking down the hallway of what seemed to be endless stretches of old, rotting, wooden doors.

“Geez, there’s a lot of doors, nanodayo,” Midorima remarked obviously.

Takao stopped. You and Midorima faltered. “Is that one open?” he whispered.

As you all continued walking, you grinned, nudging Takao in the ribs derisively. “I bet either someone’s gonna come out of it or –”

Bang.

“It shuts in our faces,” Midorima commented.

Takao’s steps accelerated, surprising you and the green-haired shooting guard. “Oh, here’s the end of the corridor, and there’s a light too!”

You and Midorima faltered again as Takao stopped.

Your voice cracked. “Did it just go out?”

Midorima’s hand found its way to your wrist in the darkness. “There’s sobbing behind us, nodayo.”

Takao chuckled. “I bet that’s an actor regretting that they got this job.”

Oh. _Both_ of them were cutting off the blood supply to your hands. Nice.

You sighed. “That’s going to be me regretting entering this house, soon.”

Takao grinned. “Don’t worry, [l/n]-chan! We’ll be out soon!”

Midorima took slow, sure steps. “It’s not that scary, nanodayo.” Yeah, right. And who screamed first?

There was a small figure under the fluorescent light just ahead. Takao paused. “Oh, a kid?”

Shaking off the two holding on to you, you rushed over to the girl. “Hey, why are you crying?”

She kept her head in her hands, sobbing. “I can’t find my mummy.”

Midorima sighed, rubbing his temples. “Really, what mother would bring their kid here?”

The girl continued sobbing. “Mummy said she’d be here soon.”

Takao’s brotherly instincts had activated, and he had joined you in comforting the kid. “It’s ok, your mum will –”

She stopped, looking up and pointing happily. “Oh, there’s my mummy!”

The three of you turned to look in that direction. “What?”

The girl’s “mother” was actually a plastic corpse coming down from the ceiling.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Just like the last time, but even scarier.

* * *

 

“See, it was a good thing I got all of you to go to the bathroom before we went in there.” Midorima’s face was blank as per usual, but there was a tinge of arrogance in his voice.

Yeah. That ego had to go.

Well, he was right, though.

You laughed. “I would have pissed my pants if I didn’t! Thank you, Midorima-kun!”

Midorima’s lips quirked up. He adjusted his glasses, gazing at his best friend expectantly. “Where’s my thanks, Takao?”

Takao’s face fell. “Geez, Shin-chan, you really need to work on your ego!” A few seconds later, he sighed. “Whatever, thanks.”

“My lucky item didn’t help me very much in there, so my ego isn’t at its best right now, nanodayo.”

The smirk on his face said otherwise.

“You want an ego boost? How about I remind you who accidentally stuck their face in [l/n]-chan’s chest?” Takao poked out his tongue.

Midorima kept a straight face, but you could see him trying not to flip Takao the bird.

Suddenly, Takao turned away, perking up.

You looked in his direction. “What is it? Weren’t you pissed off just a second ago?”

Takao pointed. “Baby tigers.”

There was a handler, and two little tiger cubs. They walked beside the man obediently, pausing to sniff patrons or play with each other. Many people were trying to pet them, but there was so many people only a few got there.

Your eyes lit up. “Whoa, tigers!”

Footsteps approached you, stopping right behind the group. You turned around, meeting gazes with a boy wearing a Touou uniform (and a black towel around his head). He wore a bemused smirk, and the closed eyes behind his glasses revealed nothing, except for what was probably condescension.

“It’s kinda sad,” he said simply.

You cocked your head to the side. “Huh? Why?”

His grin grew wider, sending shivers down your spine. “They’ve never had a real human being to eat.”

You felt protective hands on your shoulders. About time, this guy was really scaring you. Midorima and Takao stepped forward, shielding you without trying to be too obvious about it. (They were still obvious about it.)

“You’re the captain of the Touou team, right?” Takao asked slowly, eyes narrowed.

The Touou boy’s face sobered up in thought. “Hmm? Yeah. I also work here.”

The captain of Touou? His name was something like… Ima… something. Imayoshi, that’s right!

“It’s the middle of the school day, nanodayo.” Midorima’s grip on your shoulder tightened.

Imayoshi shrugged lazily. “Ok, I don’t work here.” He made to turn away, but turned back suddenly. “Oh, and by the way…”

“What?” asked Midorima.

Imayoshi grinned, chuckling. “Nice screaming.”

You, Midorima and Takao flinched in sync. Only the low buzz of the other patrons in the park could be heard.

You whisper-shouted, “Wait, what?!”

Imayoshi ignored you, walking away. “I should apply to be one of them haunted house actors! Man, they’re actually scary nowadays,” he said to nobody in particular.

After you were all sure he was gone, you turned to Takao. “Who was that?”

Takao calmly took his hand off your shoulder as he faced you, while Midorima awkwardly held his lucky item with the hand that was on you before, blushing slightly.

Takao kept the serious look on his face. “This is the kind of guy they warn you about in those stranger danger talks.”

You nodded. “Oh.”

Midorima adjusted his glasses. “He also tutors my sister in math, nodayo.”

You nodded. “Oh.”

Takao added, “He also dressed up in a glittery bikini when there was that musical on so Touou could get more customers.”

You started nodding like before, but as you realised what he had said to you, you looked up at him. “Did it work?”

Midorima shrugged. “My parents are still talking about their performance of _Something Rotten_ , nanodayo.”

Takao grinned sheepishly, shrugging as well. “It was actually good, though. I just didn’t expect him to act with the bikini on.”

“Who was he in the play?” you asked.

Midorima looked away. “…”

You focused on trying to get his gaze. “Well?”

He shifted, vehemently avoiding your eyes.

Takao sighed, answering for his friend. “William Shakespeare.”

You turned to him incredulously. “Oh, hell no.”

He laughed. “It was great despite that. I think the hot bod you get from basketball really helped his case. Somebody shouted “Do a striptease!” at one point in the play.”

Would anyone really want to see Imayoshi naked? Gross.

“Oh, wow,” you said simply.

Midorima snapped out of his stupor. “Hot… bod?”

Takao nudged him on the arm. “You know, Shin-chan might not look it, but he’s got the makings of a swimsuit model under those clothes!”

Midorima was taken aback. “What are you saying, nanodayo?!” He tried to cover his best friend’s mouth with no avail.

Takao raised his hands defensively. “I’m helping your case here!” He got a slap to the back of the head.

“What do you mean you’re helping my case? You’re embarrassing me! [l/n] doesn’t want to hear that kind of thing from you, nodayo.”

Takao rubbed the bump on his head, grinning cheekily. “You know that women look for hot bods in guys, Shin-chan? They just don’t admit it.”

Wait, what? Since when were you involved in this situation?

They both turned to you. “Well, [l/n]?” asked Midorima.

You shrugged, waving them off. “I have no comment. You should fight it out the old-fashioned way.”

The aura around Midorima grew darker.

Takao shied away. “Shin-chan?”

You raised your hands, shaking them slightly. “Midorima-kun, I wasn’t serious!”

No effect.

Midorima’s voice was a low whisper. Even though the park was noisy, you and Takao heard him loud and clear. “Prepare for a new three-bedroom, two-bathroom anus, Takao.”

Takao’s face contorted into an anus with the out of character statement. “What the fu–”

“We’re racing in the arcade, nanodayo.” Midorima’s aura disappeared. He turned away, walking towards the bright yellow building.

You and Takao were left stupefied. “What?” Midorima kept walking. “Hey, wait up!”

* * *

 

Meiko grumbled, having long ago ditched the group she was meant to work with. Stupid peasants and their societal constructs. She had to make sure [f/n]-chan was safe, after all.

“I can’t find that stupid towel anywhere.” She felt the void in her bag where the towel would have sat comfortably.

Walking around a bit more, she noticed something. Something very small, and very black.

And it was sitting on someone’s head.

“That guy has my towel!”

The boy was talking to her beloved [f/n], Midorima-kun, and the idiot.

But wait…

“That Bakao has his hand on [f/n]-chan!”

Scooching closer, she hid behind a bush, eavesdropping. To ninja say is not the ninja way.

Because the park was so noisy, there wasn’t much she could make out.

Wait a second. “Glittery… bikini?”

She popped her head out of the bush to find that the towel thief had disappeared into the crowd.

“No time to ponder that! The thief has my towel!”

* * *

 

Takao gazed at the ground. “You’ve taken my pride, you’ve taken my self-esteem, now what else are you gonna take? My underwear?”

Midorima stared ahead. “No. I can destroy your dignity in better ways, nanodayo.”

“Waaaaaaaaah, Shin-chan!”

You promptly lost the game of Pacman you were playing, joining the two boys.

“So, how did it go?” you asked.

Midorima adjusted his glasses.

“It was alright,” Takao replied.

Midorima’s smirk was there again.

“It wasn’t like I smashed him or anything, nodayo.”

You smiled, glad he wasn’t going to bring up the anus thing again.

“I see,” you replied simply.

Takao craned over to look at your watch. “Anyway, how much time do we have left?”

“Just enough to ride something and walk around a bit more,” you said, heading outside.

“Nice! Shin-chan, we’ll ride something tamer this time, ok?”

Midorima rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure.”

You paused outside, watching the Shuutoku kids run around like headless chickens. “Everyone’s going on the Ferris wheel, so how about the merry-go-round?”

Takao grinned, slapping you on the shoulder. Wait, did Midorima’s eye just twitch?

“Great idea, [l/n]-chan! I don’t have to third- _wheel_ you two lovebirds then.”

Izuki Shun, somewhere in the universe, sneezed again. He decided he was probably getting a cold and promptly tried to excuse himself from basketball practise.

Midorima flinched. “What do you mean, lovebirds?!”

“That was a horrible pun!” You covered your ears jokingly.

Takao’s signature laugh resounded throughout the arcade. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Don’t hurt me, please, both of you.”

* * *

 

Two minutes and some heated debate later, Midorima Shintarou found himself sitting astride a painted horse obviously not meant to support his weight. “Why am I doing this, nanodayo?”

You had all gotten weird looks, but considering that there were Shuutoku kids everywhere, it was bound to happen. Teenagers could do some very scary things.

You giggled. “You have to know what it’s like on a merry-go-round, Midorima-kun!”

It had been a while since you rode a merry-go-round. Doing it with friends was even more fun, especially when one of them refused to admit he enjoyed it.

Takao laughed obnoxiously from the horse beside you. “How else are you going to teach your kids how Daddy handles his horse?”

You could only hear the music as an awkward silence pervaded between the three of you. “Takao-kun, please.”

Takao, completely unaffected, continued his spiel. “Yeah, you’re right. Mama would know better how Shin-chan handles his horse, ne, [l/n]-chan?”

You turned to him, wishing the ride would end so you could slap this guy in the face. “GROSS!”

Midorima glared pointedly at his best friend. Ignoring the fact there were small children on the ride, he said, “Takao, I will actually rip you a new anus if you keep this up, nanodayo.”

Takao shied away while trying not to fall off the horse. You and Midorima’s glares were almost tangible. “Please forgive me!”

* * *

 

Takao rubbed the aching bump on his head. “Hey, we gotta go soon.”

You turned to him, smiling sweetly as if you hadn’t beaten the crap out of him. “How about something more to eat?”

Midorima checked his wallet. “More chips?”

You agreed. “Yeah, those chips weren’t bad.”

“You’re paying, nanodayo.”

You and Takao pouted, gazing at Midorima with puppy eyes.

He stared at you disinterested for a while, then gave up, sighing.

“Fine. I’ll buy them.”

This time, all three of you ate with gusto.

You paused in between chips. “You know…”

Midorima swallowed. “Yes?”

“We can’t eat on the bus.”

Takao grabbed a handful of chips, stuffing them gracelessly into his mouth. “Quick! Stuff your face!”

Midorima stared at the two of you eating like there was no tomorrow, but since he paid for the chips himself, he decided to copy you.

* * *

 

Meiko had let you take the window seat this time, because she rushed onto the bus before you on the way here and left you stuck juggling three conversations at once. “So how was today without me, [f/n]-chan?”

You shrugged. “It wasn’t too bad, Mei-chan.”

“Even though Bakao was with you, wasn’t being with Midorima-kun something special?” She winked and nudged you. How cliché.

You rolled your eyes. “Special?”

Her grin only grew. “Oh come on, I was stalking you the entire time!”

You play-slapped her. “Creep!” You laughed, knowing that you should have expected something like this to happen.

“I had to make sure Takao wasn’t going to do anything to you. But then…”

You paused, cocking your head to the side. “Then what?”

Meiko grinned more and leaned closer to you. “I saw something better than I expected! The seeds of everlasting love!”

You slapped her on the arm playfully. “You’re kidding!”

You couldn’t help the blush on your face as you looked out the window.

* * *

 

Midorima had taken a window seat this time, because Takao had one on the way to Dreamland.

Takao stretched beside him.

“Today wasn’t so bad, was it, Shin-chan?”

Midorima continued staring out of the window. “It sucked, nodayo.”

Takao straightened up. “You’re lying.” Beat. “You’re also blushing.”

Midorima stared at the cars passing by. “I’m NOT blushing!”

Chuckling, Takao reclined back into his seat. “[l/n]-chan’s a nice girl, Shin-chan,” he said, laughing louder as Midorima perked up.

Midorima huffed, embarrassed. He relaxed back into his seat. “I know she is, it’s just that –”

“You’re too shy to ask her out? You’ve been in almost every romantic situation possible with her today!”

Touché. Midorima didn’t even bother to reply, looking back out at what was suddenly a very interesting cityscape.

Takao didn’t give up. “And anyway, what was Cancer’s fortune?”

Midorima glanced back, disinterested. “I’m not saying, nanodayo.”

“You’re saying a lot already by not saying anything.” They were silent. Touché again. Takao sighed. “Well?”

Midorima turned to the front, glaring at his friend for a bit before sighing exasperatedly. “Fine.”

* * *

 

_Cancers, today might not seem like it, but it is a very lucky day for you! Your usual routine will be broken, and you will meet someone who will become a special part of your life. If you find yourself in a romantic situation, this person will be the one for you. Today’s lucky item is a pocket watch._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know where the bikini came from.
> 
> I'm thinking of working on a few other reader-inserts, but with school on I just can't find the time or energy.  
> I have a Tumblr with this username if you'd like to request something.
> 
> Claire, I hope you enjoyed reading this. Thanks for your patience :)

**Author's Note:**

> I know that Imayoshi speaks with a Kansai accent, so I tried to differentiate his speech patterns a bit.  
> Also, if anyone's confused, we call fries chips in Australia.


End file.
